Laughter is the cheapest medicine

"The health care bill was introduced yesterday. It's 1,990 pages long and costs $894 billion dollars. Or $2.2 million per word. That makes them the most expensive words to come out of Washington since 'Mission Accomplished.'" — Jimmy Fallon

"I have been thinking about the healthcare problem and how to pay for healthcare. If you took all the money the Republicans have spent trying to stop healthcare and all the money Democrats have spent trying to get healthcare, we could afford healthcare." — Jay Leno 

"If conservatives get to call universal healthcare 'socialized medicine,' I get to call private, for-profit healthcare 'soulless, vampire bastards making money off human pain.'" — Bill Maher 

 "Republican Sen. Olympia Snowe broke ranks with her party and voted for the Democrats' healthcare bill. She's been missing ever since." — Jimmy Fallon

"Not such a great day for the health-care reform. The so-called public option died on the Senate floor today. It could have survived, but apparently, it had a pre-existing condition." — Craig Ferguson

"The big news was the Senate yesterday - the finance committee - rejected the Democrats' health-care plan, the one with the public option. Meanwhile, the Republicans are offering their own health-care plan. It's called, 'Stop Crying and Take an Advil.'" — Jimmy Fallon